#TBT: The Craziest Old Laws Still on the Books in San Francisco

17 August 2017

V. Alexandra de F. Szoenyi

Oh, San Francisco. We're known for doing things our own way, so why should our laws be any different? Here are 10 crazy laws (not to be confused with crazy in-laws) that are still in effect in the city. Don't be surprised if you find some confusing, or if you've broken one or two. We have a feeling you won't need to lawyer-up anytime soon.

According to Section 103 of the Health Code, it is illegal to import, "expose for sale or exchange," or deliver ground squirrels. This was approved in 1909, when squirrels in other California counties proved to have the bubonic plague. You also can't have one in your possession in San Francisco, so you're going to have to leave that fluffy friend you bonded with in Golden Gate Park in his or her natural habitat.
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We would hope people wouldn't do this anyway, but "it shall be unlawful for any person or persons, owning or employed in any laundry in the City and County of San Francisco, to spray the clothing of any person or persons with water emitted from the mouth of said owner or employee." This law was approved on March 15, 1897, and if you break it, you are guilty of a misdemeanor.
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Another law, that came from the bubonic plague hitting San Francisco from 1900 to 1904, is the ordinance forbidding transport of bread, pastry, or cakes in "open baskets or exposed containers" through public streets. All those French moments you've had riding the hills of San Francisco with bread peeking out of your bike basket? Illegal!
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"At the request of a number of ladies representing civic organizations," Ordinance 641 was created. It made it illegal to clean your cuspidor, spittoon, and other similar tubs in the street.
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Many have been displaced from apartments and houses in the city, but your own car as well? It's actually against the law to live in your car in San Francisco. ""No person shall use or occupy or permit the use or occupancy of any house car, camper or trailer coach for human habitation, including but not limited to sleeping, eating or resting, either single or in groups, on any street, park, beach, square, avenue, alley or public way, within the City and County of San Francisco between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m."
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Here is one of the San Francisco laws that will make you, er, scratch your head. "It shall be unlawful to display to the public all or part of a dead human body or bodies for consideration or commercial purposes without valid written authorization from the deceased, which consent may be given in the last will of the deceased, or by a person who has the right to control the disposition of the remains pursuant to California Health and Safety Code Sections 7100 et seq., as amended, or any successor legislation."
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We hope that someone wouldn't ride a horse while drunk, but just in case, San Francisco passed a law forbidding it. Two people riding on a single horse is also prohibited, as is riding at "a pace faster than a walk upon any pavement or crossing."
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"It shall be unlawful for any person, firm or corporation to give, hold or conduct any exhibition or entertainment known as a bal masque or masked ball, or by any other name where the persons attending thereat appear in fancy dress, or represent any character or personage with masks or dominoes, whether or not an admission fee is charged, without first having obtained a permit therefor from the Entertainment Commission; provided, however, that no permit is hereby required for private theatricals or private dancing parties, given or conducted by any person in his own dwelling house, nor for theatrical performances."
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This is a law we know a lot of people have broken, most likely unknowingly. It's a bit silly to think someone owns the name of San Francisco (doesn't it belong to all of us?), but yes, it's true. The city has copyrighted the words "San Francisco," which means that if you use it commercially, you are essentially breaking the law.
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