1. Topless A Go Go Returns!
Daily, 6pm–2am, Condor Club, 560 Broadway, 415-781-8222

You’ve never been, not once? Well, it’s time: Check out the topless entertainment, risqué burlesque dancers and VIP Champagne lounges. And it’s returning so it must be worthwhile. Plus it’s at the legendary Condor Club. Text “CONDOR” to 35350 for your free admission.



2. Kinky Art Salon
Saturday, May 24, 3-7pm, Femina Potens Art Gallery, 2199 Market St.

Femina Potens will have “three hot nude models on hand” and give you four hours to make your own kinky art. Ready, set, go.



3. Carnaval San Francisco
Saturday–Sunday, May24–25 in the Mission

I’ll admit I’ve never been to “California's Largest Annual Multi-Cultural Celebration and Grand Parade,” but I’ve heard some good stories. Something about the “much-cherished occasion for many cultures to come together …. to share in creative expression, the abundance of beauty and community, and the sheer joy and good times” has led to many of my friends to find love in the cultural joy of it all. Two of my friends just got married after meeting at Carnaval.



4. Wednesday Night Amateur Night
Every Wednesday, Déjà vu Centerfolds, 391 Broadway, 415-834-0662

Stripping is not just for strippers anymore. At least on Wednesdays. Sure, you’ve taken a different career path, but haven’t you always been a little curious? First place is $500!

5. Robert Adler’s Burlesque Closing Reception
Thursday, May 29, 6–8pm, Hyde Street Gallery, 1987 Hyde St., 415-359-9800

You can’t swing a cat in this town without hitting a new, hip burlesque show, but Adler’s documentary-style photographs will give you an intimate and backstage look at Philadelphia’s famous Troc Burlesque Theater. Adler will be holding a discussion and answering questions from 6:30–7pm.



6. The Art of Tantric Kissing
Thursday, May 29, 7-10pm, Center For Sex and Culture, 1519 Mission St., $60 per couple. Pre-register by using PayPal; RSVP by emailing huggima@yahoo.com or calling 510-410-8876

Kissing is the first thing that goes on in a relationship. Remember when you loved making out? Well, bring it back with some tantric kissing. Couples will learn “a dozen delicious, tantric kissing exercises.” Plus you may even have a three-hour orgasm or so they say … “We’ve added ancient breathing and toning techniques to create a mind-blowing, heart-opening, body-orgasm-inducing, three-hour experience for you all.” Hey, it beats three minutes!

7. Strip Tease for Lovers
Friday, May 30, 7–8pm, Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk St., 415-345-0400

Learn to give your lover a striptease without laughing or tripping. According to local burlesque performer and Lusty Lady dancer, Tricksie Treat, it’s all in your attitude. All genders are welcome to her workshop at Good Vibrations in this fun and active workshop—held not in the front of the store but the gallery for added privacy.