Several times a week, I hear something along these lines:

“We never have sex anymore. ... I’m just not that into him/her. ... Do you think we can get our/her/his sex drive back?”

Well, it’s complicated. Did you have it in the beginning? Did you meet someone else? Are you feeling fat, ugly, bored, gay, straight or bitter?

Answers to these questions matter, and not even the best orgasm in the world will help you through some deeper issues. Couples therapy, however, can work miracles.

But let’s assume you’re in a basic run-of-the-mill sex rut—something most couples experience at some point in their relationship.

First, I present you with the most common tips for spicing sex up:

1. Do it somewhere different. If you always do it in the bedroom, do it in the laundry room, in the kitchen, in the car.
2. Share your fantasies. Tell your partner what turns you on.
3. Make an effort with your appearance. Sweats should not become a daily habit. Remember to shave, change your underwear regularly (every couple of days doesn't cut it!) and so on.
4. Make a date night. And please step away from the remote control.

If you haven’t tried these before, give one or two, and let me know how it goes.

But let’s not beat around the bush. If you want to make the actual sex better, hotter and way more fun, try some good old-fashioned mutual masturbation.

Don’t roll your eyes. I’m serious. You know what you need. Your partner knows what he/she needs. So why not start there? Together?

For him:
He was cool with your Rabbit, but men love their toys too:

courtesy of MyPleasure

Check out the Dream Sleeve. I received a few samples and gave one to my friend Michael to take for a test run. This is what he had to say: “Wow. It actually felt great, different. I could use lube, and it didn’t get all messy. Plus, it’s reversible, lumpy on one side (for added pleasure) and smooth on the other. I’m so used to my own hand, so to add this new texture and pressure was kind of cool.”

courtesy of MyPleasure

For her:
Try the Love G. This is a waterproof vibrator with 10 levels of pulsation and vibration. So the possibilities are endless (and multiplied!).

Have fun.

xxx
e

Listen to Sex with Emily at www.sexwithemily.com.