At the Bay Area's most expensive house, the welcome mat may as well read If you've got, it flaunt it.

Asking $45 million, Residence 950, as it is called—which kisses the sky from atop Russian Hill—does just so. It is the very definition of a compound: At 9,500 square feet, it has all the stunning architecture and proverbially gilded amenities you'd expect—Thom Yorke himself will even come over to sing you a lullaby before bed on your first night. Yeah, we made that up, but wouldn't that be neat? But really, this house has everything else.

(Jacob Elliot)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(Jacob Elliot)

(Jacob Elliot)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(Jacob Elliot)

(Paul Dyer)

(Jacob Elliot)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(Jacob Elliot)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

(David Livingston)

Designed to be the dream home by Troon Pacific, 950 Lombard is subtle from the street, only making its big reveal once you've passed through the gate and into the stone-walled oasis. You'll no doubt pull up in your Tesla as you navigate through the underground tunnel that leads to the four car-garage, where a peek through the glass roll-up door would give you a glimpse of the garage's recessed LED lighting, automotive turntable, integrated speakers, dog wash, catering staging area, and the separate entryway that slips into the bottom level of the home.

Once you're in, you'll find touches of classic San Francisco architecture throughout all three stories.

There are thoughtful entertaining spaces such as the chef's kitchen with Gaggenau appliances —including gas and induction cooktops as well as three ovens (including one that's plumbed for steam)—custom Boffi cabinetry, Calacatta marble countertops, and Mandarin white limestone floors. Dinner will be served in the formal dining room, which opens to the living room and shares with it a jewel box of a wet bar. The main floor also holds two guest bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms, a grand parlor, and an entertainment room with sliding glass walls that open to a large terrace.

Head upstairs via the sun-soaked glass elevator with a skylight or up the custom-made steel and wood floating staircase that surrounds it. Here you'll find three bedrooms including the master suite. You could pretty much go to sleep and die happy here beneath your vaulted ceilings; the master also has an open foyer that doubles as an office, large built-in Boffi closets, and French doors that open onto a balcony overlooking the garden. The en suite bat is swathed in Calacatta Oro marble slab walls and flooring, and has a standalone soaking tub and an oversized rainfall shower equipped with a TV.

But you don't pay $45 million just to watch CNN in the shower. This house is all about the grounds and the luxurious extras.

Wander the one-third-acre private garden with century-old olive and lemon trees and native flowers that wraps around the estate, from Lombard to Chestnut Street, and offers sweeping views of the bay and city skyline. There's also a sprawling outdoor entertainment area with a trellised theater set up with a projector, all-weather retractable screen, and surround sound speakers. A pair of all-weather chandeliers oversees the outdoor dining area; and the alfresco kitchen is fitted with a Hestan grill, rotisserie, wood burning pizza oven, and bar. After a meal, you can doze into your food coma while kicking back on a heated bench by the fire pit.

Seeking R&R? Take a dip in the cantilevered infinity pool, or head to your very own wellness center. A separate one-bedroom cottage, the zen den includes a kitchen, great room, and massage room, as well as a steam room, sauna, outdoor shower, and a hot tub with ultraviolet filtration. This is the ultimate guest house (or epic Airbnb). When you're looking for some more stimulation, pop over to the subterranean, two-story art gallery that transforms into a sports court (or night club—which will be useful since, if you live here, you're probably friends with Jay-Z).

Concerned about the safety of your fancy AF house? Worry not, as this abode is protected by a Siedle Steel electronic entry system with a keypad and biometric access.

From what we can tell, the only thing it's missing is you.

Location: 950 Lombard St. (Russian Hill)

Size: 9,500 sq. ft.

Bedrooms: 6

Bathrooms: 7.5

Asking price: $45,000,000

// For more information, visit residence950.com.