A tidal wave of green is about to crash onto the cement-paved shores of San Francisco and it's not mutant sludge from that fuel spill in the bay last month. It's St. Patrick's Day soon, and everyone with a drop of Irish blood (or anyone sniffing out a cheap drink) will be looking for a good time. Here's where to find them:

St. Patrick's Day Parade, March 12, 11:30 am, 2nd & Market.

The 160th annual event is the largest Irish event west of the Mississippi, so expect public drunkenness on an epic scale. At the festival in Civic Center Plaza, there will be live music, arts & crafts, Irish food, beer, and Irish culture galore. Families can take refuge near the bouncy castles, pony rides and petting zoo.

St. Patrick's Day @ California Academy of Sciences, March 17, 6-10 pm

Get your night started basking in the green light glowing through the Academy of Sciences space while sipping on Irish whiskey or frothy Guinness pints. Catch Celtic harp and nyckelharpa performances and learn how to Irish step dance without spilling your drink. Tickets here.

Pop-Up Magazine @ SFMOMA, March 17, 6-9:45 pm

One of the coolest ways to spend your St. Paddy's Day evening is experiencing the magic of Pop-Up Magazine. Here, they're debuting their new between-issue performance, Sidebar, which will collide with the MOMA's excellent How Wine Became Modern to examine the culture, history, science, politics and humor about wine. Head to XYZ Lounge across the way in the W Hotel and get 2-for-1 cocktails if you present your ticket stub.

Irish Week @ Liberties Bar , March 12-19, all day & night, 998 Guerrero @ 22nd.

The Liberties Bar knows what the real Irish drink, and it's definitely not green beer. They're offering rare and sophisticated Irish whiskey flights all week and long pours of Irish brews like Guinness, Harp, Smithwick's and Kilkenny. Fill your belly with traditional Irish dishes like corned beef and cabbage, Guinness and beef stew, potato pancakes and way more to soak it all up. Native Irish singer Martin Lacey will sing all night and all week long, and there's no cover to bring you down.

Battlehooch @Milk Bar, 9 pm, $7, 1840 Haight St.

If you gotta get away from the green, head to Milk Bar on Haight to watch local psych band and Noise Pop slayers Battlehooch tear up the stage. They're known for their unhinged live performances, but don't expect easy-to-swallow stuff. They favor prog rock suites and stadium-sized jams that will mess with your drunken head.