Here it is — your bi-weekly comedy calendar. Use it very wisely. It includes lots of rejects, Mad TValums, a dude from Breaking Bad,and the almighty Patton Oswalt.

Pablo Francisco
His spot-on impressions are the best you'll ever hear and you won't find a shortage of his shows on Comedy Central and appearances on talk shows. He has TONS of them. He's also recently finished a tour of Australia, so make sure you give him a "G'day!" when you meet him.
When: Various times, August 22-25
Where: Cobb's Comedy Club, 915 Columbus Ave.

The Rejects Of Stand-Up
Five comedians take the stage and tell you about their experiences about being rejected from the world of stand-up, but they're pretty sure you'll enjoy the show anyway. If not, then the name of the show should have been a your first warning.
When: 10 pm, Friday, August 23 
Where: The Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission St.

Michael McDonald
Not to be confused with the Grammy award-winning adult contemporary artist and former member of Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, the MADtv alum and star of The Heatshows off his stand-up chops. 
When: Various times, August 23-24
Where: Punchline Comedy Club, 444 Battery St.

The BitchSlap! Comedy Showcase
Created by Eloisa Bravo and Kimberly Rose Wendt, the show gives you the best bitch slap of funny you'll ever get, courtesy of fine female comedian roster that includes Zahra Noorbakhsh, Lydia Popovich, Anna Seregina, and Jessica Sele.
When: 9 pm,Saturday, August 24 
Where: Great American Music Hall, 859 O'Farrell St.

Rex Navarrete
A favorite Bay Area local, Rex is still going strong with his popular brand of Filipino American comedy that appeals to the masses.
When: 7 pm, Sunday, August 25
Where: Pa'Ina Lounge & Restaurant, 1865 Post St .

Joe Bartnick
Joe got his stand-up start in San Francisco at the Punchline. Since then he has moved to LA and landed tons of stage and TV gigs. It's always good to have him back...just like old times!
When: 8 pm, Tuesday, August 27
Where: Punchline Comedy Club, 444 Battery St.

A Special Evening of Comedy with Brian Regan and Bill Burr
Comedian Bill Burr can be seen in various episodes of BreakingBad.Brian Regan is not on BreakingBad. But both are talented and funny. They will enjoy your presence.
When: 8 pm, Tuesday, August 27
Where: Cobb's Comedy Club, 915 Columbus Ave.

Laurie Kilmartin
Finalist on Last Comic Standing, a New York Timesbest-selling author, and a writer on Conan — Laurie is every woman you could ever want.
When: Various times, August 28-31
Where: Punchline Comedy Club, 444 Battery St.

Russell Brand
You know that guy who was once married to Katy Perry? Well, he is also a comedian...and he ain't half bad at it.
When: 8 pm,Thursday, August 29
Where: Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon St.

The Rrazz Room Comedy Club Series Presents Loni Love
The Chelsea Latelyregular says that she loves making people laugh...so why not let her?
When: Various times, August 30-September 1
Where: The RRazz Room, 1000 Van Ness Ave.

Jeff Dye and Jessimae Peluso from Girl Code
Jessimae has an obsession with John Stamos...the jury is still out on whether or not Jeff does. The two comedians from the popular MTV show Girl Code bring their raw humor to the stage.
When: Various times, August 30- September 1
Where: Cobb's Comedy Club, 915 Columbus Ave.

Patton Oswalt
The actor, comedian, author, former San Francisco resident, and high sultan of Twitter comes to the city not for a stand-up set but for a conversation with Paul Lancour courtesy of City Arts & Lectures.
When: 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, September 3
Where: The Nourse Theater, 275 Hayes St.