If you’ve ever had a face-to-face conversation with me, you know that I’m prone to whipping out my notebook and scribbling madly in it while we talk. I admit that at times I feel bad because, though it may appear that I’m using you as a piece of sex story meat, I am truly listening. It’s just that there are oftentimes so many damn good nuggets in a given conversation that I just can’t help myself.


Quick—someone get me something to write on.

I’ve mentioned the samples of sex books and toys that fill my home, but recently other work-related items have accumulated on my shelves, floors and countertops. I’m talking about thousands of notes, scraps, Post-its, matchbooks and napkins filled with all of your thoughts and stories. While creating another bucket for “notes and quotes” today, I thought, ‘Enough is enough. The people need to know.’

Here are some to get us started:

“I hate that blinking clock. Every guy has it in his room. The red dots are flashing to count the seconds and while he’s down there, all I can think about is the clock, and am I taking too long? And I can’t stop counting the seconds.”—Gabriel, 32, Mission District

“I had a poor man’s three way.”—Billy, 34, Potrero Hill (In other words, a threesome with his best guy friend and another woman in which he never, ever made eye contact with or touched his friend … so he says.)

“I didn’t like soup when I married him. But, after 10 years, I realize so much has changed: Now I like to run, have completed therapy, learned how to cook, become a mom and … I've come to love soup! So, it just occurred to me that the one thing that hasn’t changed one bit is our sex life.”—Haley, 39, Nob Hill

 “I believe there should be amnesty in a relationship. For example, once a month, we can have sex with whomever we want.”—Jacob, 36, Mill Valley

“Yeah, I’ve paid for sex with a prostitute. But I’m not actually paying for the prostitute; I’m paying for the part when she leaves in the morning. The woman I date never wants to leave.”—Aaron, 42, Potrero Hill

“Oh my god, the guy I had sex with last night is on TV right now.”—Val, 37, Russian Hill

“I know I’m not the best-looking guy in the room, but I know how to get a woman to sleep with me. Basically, you have to let them know you want to sleep with them. Not in a cheesy or aggressive way, but just let it be known you find them attractive. Lots of guys never give off the sex vibe, and once you fall into the friend zone, there’s no getting out.”—Nathaniel, 46, Noe Valley

Keep your thoughts, ideas and stories coming. I’m listening (and maybe writing—just a bit).

xxx
e

Listen to Sex with Emily at www.sexwithemily.com.