Care to season your cross-seared king salmon fillet with the beats of Beyoncé and the lighting effects of a Radiohead show? Your dreams may soon come true.

From San Luis Obispo–based lifestyle brand Herb & Body comes Smalt (as in "smart salt"), a stroke of genius from a brand that clearly has its (middle) finger on the cultural zeitgeist. Following on the profitable coattails of the connected kitchen gadget craze, the "world's first smart centerpiece designed for your indoor/outdoor dining area" is a fully bluetooth-enabled salt shaker that plays music and lights up. And, this empirical answer to all of our most pressing modern-day problems will launch later this summer on Indiegogo to the delight of anyone who's ever thrown out their back schlepping a run-of-the-mill salt grinder—oh yes, it's portable too, so you can "have fun wherever you dine."

Now, before you go making fun of this all-too-earnest startup that's named its product after powdered glass, you should know that this salt shaker (which we're assuming will cost as much as your PG&E bill) runs on the same AI technology as Amazon's Alexa, which means you'll have one more at the dinner table. ("Hey Alexa, can you dispense a teaspoon of salt? And, play some Foo Fighters while you're at it." Burnt the chicken? "Make it Adele.")

Still not sold on Smalt? Just think of what it will do for your dining table's image. It's not just a salt shaker. It's a centerpiece. Smalt's blog explains:

The artful centerpiece has been around for centuries. Ancient Romans often decorated their grandiose tables with seasonal foliage and handmade ceramics. During the Middle Ages, aristocrats would garnish their tables with pastries and marzipan molded into the likeness of people for Christmas celebrations. By the 18th century, centerpieces were made by setting detailed porcelain figures atop a mirror. These focal points were used to complement a meal while showing off the host's wealth.

Think of it as the next Juicero.

(Courtesy of mysmalt.com)